You know those tracts by Tony Alamo that you see littering the streets, raving about God’s coming judgment upon the evils of this world? Our own Rev. Miller created this clever decoy to lure foolish Christians away from salvation.
We handed this out around Churchill Downs after the Kentucky Derby. It looked so much like a religious pamphlet, some people refused to read it!!!
THE HEAD OF ZEUS…
…AND YOU’RE BUYING
Those headaches you’ve been having aren’t symptoms of fatigue, they’re labor pains. Your dreams and ideas have been boiling for years, just below the surface, and now your mind is ready to give birth. But they are watching. They know how your brain cells are blossoming towards transformation. And they’re scared. Eyes follow you from dark corners, hidden cameras track your movements. And what about that old man peering at you from behind his paper…?
For now, it’s okay; they’ve got you quarantined on a college campus, or wearing yourself out at some crappy job, or following the latest media scandal. But when your intelligence-tumor threatens to burst your skull and spill out into the environment, then watch it! The most dangerous cancer is that which is contagious. The most dangerous contagion leaps from head to head beyond their control.
When your neurons start to replicate themselves, in your head or in your actions, then you start to threaten their sterile dream of law and order. You threaten to become unpredictable. That’s when they put the red tag by your file:
You’ve been marked for observation.
Wear your stigma with pride.
(Found on a bathroom wall somewhere in the U.S.A.)
You’ve taken over my mind. You’ve raped my thoughts with your image viruses then sold me fake cures for your own disease. Your words and pictures scream orders at me like angry prison wardens. When I cover my ears, your voices echo in my head. I hate you. When I see your billboards, your talk shows, your rock concerts and your factories, when I see the work of your twisted libidos, I want to kill you. I want to set fires, plant bombs, derail trains. I want to smash your buildings and tear at your bodies until the skin of my hands is worn to the bone. I am filled with a rage that burns my eyes.
I don’t want to feel this way. You have done this to me. These feelings are the fruits of your multi-billion dollar sowing. And I am not alone. There are others like me out here. Every suicide, every madman, every man and woman who gets a gun and just starts shooting — these are your illegitimate children. They don’t all know what they are doing. All they know is hate for the invisible walls which you have raised around them, hate for the narrow path you have tried to make them walk. And the innocent pay in blood for your negligence.
Remember this: My mind is big. The more you try to push me down and make me small, the greater the pressure inside me becomes. The greater the pressure, the greater the chance of an explosion. There was once a time when I felt love, but now I feel only hate and anger, and fear at what I might do. And you can tell me to "BE HAPPY," but I know that you really mean “BE QUIET”.
Believe me, I want to be happy. You stand in my way.
The Secret Service didn’t care for this, but we think it’s cute.
YOUR MISSION, IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT…
Unleash the Fiend! Spew late-night revelations! Drink Jolt and coffee! Terrorize mall-goers! Shave your pubic hair! Invoke your Dark Side! Vandalize everything! Stand in the middle of traffic and dance! Return favors twofold and return malice fivefold! Infest computers with viruses! Play Monopoly and cheat your ass off! Make prank phone calls! Leave your fly open or your skirt hiked! Show wonders to the dead! Start a radio station! BREAKCrack incest jokes at family reunions! Warp out on video games! Shove weird pictures through late-night book and video drops! Insert tiny propaganda bombs into publications and newsstands everywhere! Defy TV! Denounce everybody! See through everything! Place disturbing classified ads in newspapers! Promote heavy drug use! Bleed on everything! Send your teacher’s or boss’s name in to matchmaker publications! Let it all slide off your back! Pick up stray telepathic thoughts! Piss in small, enclosed public places! Sling dead things into mailboxes! Steal neighbors’ pets and covertly deposit them in huge grocery stores — in the freezers! Toss money at people! Alert people to their inherent beauty or ugliness! Put leaks in cups! Interrupt transmissions! Disappear for a few weeks! Paint targets on cars! YOURCopyright everything you see, say, or do! Rant! Stare hatefully at completely normal and boring people! Compete with your teacher in class! Stomp in quiet hallways! Pretend that you’re invisible! Doodle anti-Christian imagery! Streak! Revere the unpopular! Place weird ads in sex magazines! Cough up blood when you laugh! Penalize people with imaginary point systems! Absorb CPU radiation! Believe in demons! Put Gutenberg to shame! Leave fingernail and hair clippings everywhere you go! Tip the service generously but fuck with the management! Suddenly realize you’re halfway down the page! Feed dogs gobs of peanut butter! Send letters to Hustler about bestiality! Play devil’s advocate! Defy classification! Get yourself on TV! Shoot rubber bands! Storm into bars and demand tap water! Untangle phone cords! Wear prison clothes to school or work! Make a game out of your own pain and discomfort! FUCKINGTalk in your sleep! Express interest in everybody! Drink blood, spray piss! Write commentary in the margins of unpurchased magazines and books! Switch labels on boxes and computer discs! Call a phone sex line from your boss’s phone and leave it off the hook! Start a church! Build a steeple! Lock the doors and shit on the people! Fake illiteracy! Cross-dress! Hang out in locker rooms and lingerie bars! LIE!!! Initiate breast feedings! Stuff your bra or your pants! Write several conflicting autobiographies! Wear elevator shoes and religious beauty marks! Play with mercury! Explore India Ink! KY Jelly is your friend! Write a contract denying ALL responsibility and have everybody you meet sign it! Tell sick jokes! Be politically incorrect! Pit conservatives and liberals against each other! Talk about ki**ing the President! Start an obsessive and obscure collection! Grow natural dreadlocks! CHAINS!Pick your nose on public transportation! Get your hands bloody! Place various objects on train tracks! Invent more origami! Try not to notice that everyone resents you! Make love to anything! Make war on everything! Try to put every external organ in your mouth! Be sleazy! Make up parables! Memorize mass murder facts! Develop a cramped and psychotic handwriting style! Explode fruit and vegetables! Stand on bridges and throw heavy things off! Make unintelligible phone calls to talk shows! Take surveys! Release the Kraken! Become a hermaphrodite! Cultivate acne! Look normal — BE insane! Infiltrate cliques and then destroy them! Record all conversation, save all letters, take pictures of everyone! Peep & exhibit! Leave religious propaganda in porno shops! Take a deep breath! And…
The BIG flyer. Originally printed on tabloid paper and stapled to telephone poles. And people READ the thing!
Technically, this is Abrupt Flyer #2, but for all practical purposes, it was our debut poster.